little things i want and a few words about manifesting

 

growing up i always used to have one notebook where i would write down my dreams. my goals, recent, but also long term. i would watch vlogs on youtube and think "i want to be just like her". i remember my obsession with Sammi TheBeautyCrush. She just bought a striped dress from TOPSHOP. Guess what 14 year old Nicola did. She ordered the exact same one. Or asked her dad to order it for her.

Sammi used to do her favourites and post them monthly. My inner Virgo who always tends to organise everything but what she actually should stole that idea but instead of doing favourites I decided to do lists of things i wanted. I would descirbe them really precisely, make sure to write down the colour of the lipstick, texture and material of the white satin top or the shop where i could get that mini red bag.

back then manifesting wasn't really a thing but now i can see that all of the things on my lists came to my life after some time. All of them. Like i said before i started doing that when i was like 12 so i came a really long way. 12 year old Nic didn't really had to use foundation or nude lip liner like 21 year old. But i would draw these little things carefully. I remember doing it when i was doing breaks between my study sessions. I remember my friends being like "that's so pretty". I felt so appreciated.

I know what some of you might think "what a waste of time", "silly little girl". But i loved it. I loved concentating, i loved how focused my brain was and the feeling of achieveing what i wanted step by step. It all started with material things but quickly grew into writing about life goals, dreams and basically everything that happens in my life. Everything the child version of me wanted- i have now. Changing schools, moving cities, my parents splitting up, my crush being my first kiss- now i belive that if you truly desire something, you can reach it. It will come to you, when it's the right time.

Like i said- i still to this day make little lists of tasks and things. These are the ones i want to buy in december/january:

-new foundation- i have really bad skin at the moment due to some health difficulties so this is a must. i really want to try the estee lauder one cause it's supposed to have strong coverage.

-laura mercier powder-my favourite, it really is magical and makes all of your s hitty bases stick to your skin perfectly

-dior lip glow- it's just pretty and i want it

-charlotte tilbury lipliner- you can never have to many brown/nude lipliners

-black lingerie- i like to look pretty and feel pretty under warm winter sweaters. its like only i can see it and it makes me even more powerful

-cross necklace- not in a christian way, in a chrome hearts way

-gold initial necklace- if my boyf won't get this for me i'm breaking up with him by the end of the year and never coming back

Those can always be a really good christmas present. Let's hope my dad buys me the perfume.